Monthly Archives: April 2011

"My mother wants me to get higher SAT scores." Really?

It's my goal!

Claire, a high school senior,  was brought to my office by her two parents. She was an outstanding student– 3.5 GPA, captain of the soccer team, a volunteer in public service activities– all the makings for a great college application. The issue was her SAT scores. “Not high enough,” said her Mom when we talked on the phone.

So Mom and Dad brought Claire in for a consult. My opening question was directed towards her. “So Claire, why are you here today?”  She looked at her Mom and then her Dad and then at me, “I’m here because my mother wants me to get higher SAT scores.”  There was an audible gasp from the…

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A mistake is an opportunity to learn

What can I learn?

Finding myself all worked up about not hearing back from a colleague in response to an email I’d sent a week ago, I started feeling disregarded, marginalized and unimportant. In a word, “angry.”   My wife and I talked about this situation at length and concluded the best thing to do was to face the situation directly: talk to the person I’d sent the email to and find out “wassup?”  Even though I don’t like fault-finding and placing blame, I found myself finding all kinds of things wrong with the other person (“What’s the matter with them? It’s rude not to answer emails!”).

As I considered the situation in a more methodical and detached manner I felt Read more ›

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